Low self esteem during locking process

[cocodeleche]

So I'm going to have a complete girly breakdown in front of all of you. haha. My hair has shrunk up SO much (which I know is a good thing!) and my hair looks like such a wreck, it has seriously taken a huge toll on my self esteem here lately. I've always had issues with not feeling very feminine but my hair had gotten so long, I was starting to feel better about myself (I do realize how dumb and shallow all of this sounds but seriously, oh well). Does anyone have tips on how to make yourself feel better during the slightly horrendous process of watching my hair turn into a bird's nest? lol.

Also, it doesn't help that my sister's wedding is Saturday and I'm the maid of honor and don't know what to do with my hair! Any ideas?

[Deleted]

honey, you look beautiful and feminine to me and I hateyou for it! Just kidding on that last part.

We all go through this! I think everyone is going to tell you something similar, and we find this process beautiful on everyone...but ourselves, we find the flaws atsome point. Lol idk.
Second part, I am terrible with hairstyles (dreads are supposed to be carefree though, right?) but that half up do seems to work! Others mightbe more helpful, but just believe in yourself and know that you have the whole DT behind you!

[gigglelocs]

I also think the half updo is very cute. Perhaps you could get some pretty flower hair clips to put through the sides and back? That would be feminine and also might balance out the "mess" to look wild and pretty
Great progress by the way, they're getting there really fast. You'll have beautiful mature locs in no time x

[jasonmonty]

And I was thinking I prefer the hair on the right. You look awesome, but everyone is their own worst critic. Others don't notice the flaws we think exist in ourselves. Self doubt is normal.

Tips for the hair at the wedding itself. I'd guess putting it up in a way that hides or encapsulates most of the birds nest and then being creative with pins, flowers or similar would be the way to go. But, I'm a guy and am very very new to this dreading thing, so the others will likely have better ideas.

[jxbx]

Grrrlll...you ain't got nothing to be worried about!!! You're radiant, shine through, you look outstanding!! Now check out morri 's timeline. She had to do an updo for a wedding as well and it looked great!

[marie]

You look beautiful. Make a hair bun or a french braid and put ind wild flowers. And remember the rest of you - put in beautiful earings and put on your best dress.

[LeRemy]

I would say that you look better in the after photo. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

[Dreadlocktruth]

The demons in your own head can't really be ousted by anyone but yourself, so the feelings of insecurity do tend to creep back every now and then, but I would say you have a very feminine look to you and look beautiful in both pics.

[gigglelocs]

Let us know how the wedding goes and what you end up doing with your hair

[cocodeleche]

You have all made me feel so wonderful, aand thankful to be a part of this community. I don't post on here too often but always feel so loved when I do. 

The wedding was perfect and while our friend was doing my hair  (she started combing it and I almost screamed, lol), I realized I have to let go of this feeling of needing to look beautiful. It's natural but I let it consume me and affect my relationships in negative ways. A fellow bridesmaid told me she couldn't even tell I had dreads with my hair done  (it was put up in a twisty bun) and it made me sad. lol. 


Thank you all again for coming through for me and being so sweet. I'm gonna try to be on here more often! 

[LeRemy]

Why do you have to let go of feeling beautiful, just for another view of beauty? I'm dreading because I love the raggy surfer-dude look. Meanwhile, I'm somewhat obessed with my skin and skin care. For it to look picture-perfect.

Basically, me having dreads will sort of balance out my androginity.

You CAN be beautiful and have dreads. You look stunning in the picture, and don't let what our ignorant society considers beauty waver your thoughts (it's almost sad how bad it is to times).

[jxbx]

Interesting.

In my eyes you appear to be a very beautiful person, but yet, you have a "feeling of needing to look beautiful."

Need no more of this beautiful beyond, it's a trap, be the beautiful you are today.

[Dreadlocktruth]

I'm always a bit reluctant to throw compliments around for fear of sounding like a creep or anything, but, honestly, you are a stunningly beautiful lady. You have nothing to worry about

[heatherh]

I agree. You are quite beautiful and definitely have very delicate feminine features. All three of you pictures are very flattering.

[cocodeleche]

It is so hard to describe. I'm not at all saying having dreadlocks makes anyone less beautiful, but that, in a sense, it takes away that superficial beauty sometimes? Like before dreads, I always had to do something to my hair before leaving. Whether it was straightening or curling it or putting it up in some special way, it was my main focus. And if I had a bad hair day, I felt like trash about myself. But now my hair always looks a little funky, and it's teaching me that there is so much more to life, more to ME than looking or feeling attractive. So it is good for me, but sometimes I get emotional and feel like what have I done! lol.

So this is more of a core issue than me not liking how short my hair will be once it's fully locked up. I need to truly learn how to love and respect myself based on who I am, not how I look. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Thank you all so so much for the beautiful and kind words. 😭😭😭 I couldn't ask for better dread buddies. You are all beautiful people!