A sensitive subject...

[Deleted]

Not sure of others relationship statuses but I'm interested in hearing how other people's "other person" reacted to the dread process. I think that the process of doing it has made me not give a fuck. I mean you kinda have to let go. And in the past 2ish weeks I have let go of a lot. Dumb arguments that I used to engage in, taking blame to keep the peace, apologizing when I wasn't the problem. Lately, I'm like fuck all that, you can be mad by yourself. I think my other person is feeling a bit confused by my lack of interest in arguing. I just wonder if anyone else experienced personal growth and it caused relationship issues.  I would like to say that it's bullshit we fight about, nothing major but it's constant!!! 

[morri]

My OH hates dreadlocks. I'm on my second set and we are still together

I found the whole journey was an exercise in patience and letting go. We have never argued about my hair. When we got together I had purple hair so he knew I was non conformist. We are quite different from each other.
I am the village weirdo

Relationships go in cycles until you find the balance that works for you. If it doesn't work that's ok, you can say goodbye. 

Dropping the pettiness can only be a good thing, personal growth is awesome.

[MamaKittyLove]

My hubs hated my journey at first. He said I looked messy and that he missed my long, soft hair. That it wasn't as "womanly" :/ But as they came together more and started to look more like dreads he fell in love lol.
I've definitely become a better person since I started my journey, and a lot has changed aside from my hair. I told him to just get used to it lol. Thankfully, he did.

[Deleted]

morri, I think he's struggling to understand that letting go in all areas doesn't mean I don't care. We used to fight about me being too controlling now we fight cause I don't care.. Blah! Relationships are tricky and confusing. Now he does think that the dreadies are sexy so we haven't fought directly about the hair but shit man, it's always something!!! Thanks for your input!

[morri]

I have been with my OH for 16 years, we have had so many ups and downs in that time

Having plenty of children kind of helps

[Dreadlocktruth]

I was a late starter when it comes to relationships and I've had dreads for a very long time so I've always gone into them with my hair in knots.

[gingerdreadman]

I had always had a fascination with them. Once I got the go ahead from my job that it wasnt a problem. I was close to getting married and my wife just said i had to wait until after the wedding to start them which was no problem. She says she likes them from time to time. I have never heard a negative comment. She made the comment the other day that they are getting long. Which seems like a very simple observation. But it was an uplifting comment for me as I always wish theyd stop shrinking and start getting longer. She also makes comments that she likes me with short hair too. So she pretty much doesnt try to dictate what I do. Just like i never try to tell her what to do with her hair or body. She has mentioned just cutting her hair off or shaving her head over the years. Yes, i would def prefer she did not do those things. But i have no right to tell her what she can and cant do.

[N.U.]

Michelle was pissy because, in her mind, "She wanted them first."

I let that pass with only two words. Me pointing at her and saying "want" and then me saying "have."

The subject never came up again.

[pirataseign]

My man was super excited about it when I was getting ready to start backcombing. He was really bummed that I wouldn't do it the way he wanted me to, which was just have like eight giant ones instead of my 80+/- that I have now. A couple months in, we were sitting around a campfire with some friends of his in Texas, inebriating. He turns to me and says "Mel, I've gotta be straight with ya. Your hair looks ridiculous." I laughed and said okay. I'm about 9 months into the journey now and he has fallen in love with them.

As an individual, my journey has taught me to seriously let go. I decided to start dreads in celebration of the progress I made with mental illness. Since then, I've gained the confidence to remove toxic people out of my life, I opened a private practice in massage therapy, and I'm actually willing to express my opinion, which is something I have NEVER been able to do. Dreads are so awesome.

[jxbx]

I'm a lucky man. I've gone through three sets of dreads since I met and married my wife over 24 years ago. We fully accept, support, and embrace everything the other chooses to do, period. I don't know how it happens...but it does and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

My dad was very verbally abusive to my mom and I. If we did anything to offend or embarrass him, even if it was imaginary, we would hear about it. I started my first set of dreads at 17, long story short, by mid-18 I was out of my parent's house.

Somewhere around that time, maybe earlier, I vowed and decided not to build and perpetuate a life that accepts such verbal attacks and abuse as commonplace. I have succeeded.

[kells]

My boyfriend helped me backcomb my dreads in and he's been very supportive of the entire journey. When Ive felt down about them he always helped me feel better. Whether or not he really likes them or doesnt want the days and days of backcombing to be for nothing XD I think he likes them more now that they're a bit longer and a little more formed. He pretty much lets me do my own thing though, so its nice.

[Deleted]

I haven't commented yet, not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I ...have to much to say? idk i mean, we all have a story, right?

the gist of it is, what I, myself, was concerned with was hygiene. Once I got passed that, I was good about it. I mean, Idk I guess tbh, I even have doubts...like with the stiffness I keep bitching about and whether the dirt or whatever is all actually coming out.

If I can be confident in the fact that I'm actually clean, then I have no problem with what people think in terms of looks. Eh...I take that back, just a bit...partly why I can't commit to a full set (sigh!). But that is ME, ALL ME! I care, to some degree, what my loved ones think of me and my appearance (at least that which I have control over)

Ahhhhh, this is kindof hard to write, to be quite honest...but the take-away is this, that no matter what I do, I know the people who love me don't care about looks or all that nonsense. I've pretty much been able to do what I want in terms of that. But...I want them to respect me as well as love me. So...yeah! (ah, I feel I needed to "rehearse" this a bit better..."omg! that's just some crazy person...")

[Dreadlocktruth]

"I want them to respect me as well as love me" - that basically sums up why I was so upset about my dad's comments the other week, @vacantalleyways, even though I don't care what his opinion on my appearance is. Very well put.

[Deleted]

It's not really...hmm, idk how to say this to or about a veteran dreadhead such as yourself Dreadlocktruth , but I would like to believe they would see our dedication as respect-worthy (worthy of respect)

ahhh, you would think so, right?


edit: ah, I'll just say it. So, idk whether it was just from that "love", but last night (and occasionally some other times) hubby says that the dreads look better. ?? Actually, omgsh, this happened too...I like asked what he thought about my hair (refering to the chopping) awe, the dear, he thought my hair, my undreaded hair, was shrinking too! omg! <3
I told him, no I chopped it. Does it look alright. And that's when he said.

ok, feeling a bit cheesy right now. nice though, right?

[lipstic]

Ha ha my hubby hates them!! He thinks my hair looks like a nest of some sort (I don't remember if he said bird or rat). He likes the idea of them, but doesn't like the process of getting there. He will often comment that he could never take me to a work dinner because it could ruin his chances of getting a promotion (which is true by the way) or we'll talk about me changing careers and the possibility of having to cut them off. In the end he will love me no matter what and I in turn love him, we will probably never agree on things like this because I am a hippie and due to his job he has to be conservative. And I remind him of this anytime he starts in on my hair.